I've been in somewhat of a funk lately. I can't figure it out and it's hard to describe. Some days it feels like PMS, other days I just feel weary. I find myself getting frustrated incredibly easily. I find myself feeling bored and lonely. It gets hard that I never see my roommates and besides having other people's stuff everywhere, sometimes it almost feels like I live alone. I get home at 4 and go to bed around 9. They get home any time between 9:30 and 2am and are asleep when I leave for work at 6:30. There are times I go 7 or 8 days without seeing Kaitlyn and we mainly communicate using the whiteboard on the fridge and by texting. Brooke purposely takes her lunch break late so I'll be home to sit outside with her while she smokes.
So, I try to remember what I am thankful for more often. Today, Carrie's blog reminded me. These are in absolutely no order.
1. I am thankful that I have a car, and even more than that, that I love my car. It's predictable and reliable and has all the attributes that I wanted.
2. I am thankful for my roommate's dog, even on the days he drives me up the wall, because he makes me feel safe. And because he's really hilarious to play with and he makes me laugh.
3. I am thankful for a wonderful boyfriend who supports me in more ways than I can count and compromises with me and makes huge efforts to work with me on the days I'm being ridiculous. I think of the reasons I am thankful for him often because of those times I feel myself getting frustrated when I shouldn't be. And I've been working at stopping to kiss him and tell him WHY I am thankful for him.
4. I am thankful for his beautiful son. I have so loved spending Saturdays with him lately and building our relationship. It makes me smile inside when store clerks, etc. will talk to him and refer to me as Mommy. I don't really talk to Jordan about it because he does know who his mom is and he and I have our own special relationship, but people tell me all the time that Jordan looks like me and it just makes the bond between him and I seem more right.
5. I am thankful for my job. I've been working hard lately at not being frustrated with people that I work with (and it's been hard) but I am constantly thankful that I love the work that I do. This week 3 or 4 different people (customers, doctors, coworkers) have told me that I am doing a great job and it makes me proud of what I do.
6. I am thankful for the little extra things. That I got to buy Jordan a stroller which causes us to spend more time as a family (getting exercise!). That we get to go to the zoo this weekend. That my roommate was so excited to see me when she got home after being gone for 4 days.
7. I am thankful for my good health. A little headache here, a stomach ache there - I am feeling pretty good. Which reminds me, I'm also thankful for PTO when I am sick so that I can still pay my bills.
8. I am thankful for the sunshine and the warm weather. I eat lunch in my car almost every day because it's a refreshing break of peace and quiet for me and I've loved getting to roll down the windows and put on some music and eat with the breeze blowing through my hair.
9. I am thankful for my friends.
10. I am thankful for my warm bed and a hot shower and clean clothes and my toothbrush.
11. I am thankful for bills because this week they are reminding me of what they bring. Rent means I have a place to live. Phone bill means I am able to talk to the people I love. Car payment means I have a way to get to work.