Monday, December 22, 2008

Totally stressed out... but with internet!

Ciel and I have been in e-mail contact this week and I mentioned that I wasn't able to get online, but oh well. She wrote me back and told me where she thought I could find the code to the internet. I came home and aside from the folder being a different color than she had though, it was a piece of cake to find. YAY!

Now I won't be quite so secluded for the next two weeks!

For some reason I feel really stressed this week. I think part of it has to do with the weather, part of it lack of sleep and part of it the Big Decision.

It has been snowing off and on for SEVEN DAYS! That has got to be some sort of Oregon record. It never snows that much! Today it snowed another half inch or so up on the hill which was enough for me to shovel the driveway when I got home. I was finally able to take my chains off and park in the garage yesterday which was a total relief. I was so tired of driving 25mph everywhere and listening to kthunk, kthunk, kthunk the whole way.

I need to go to bed way earlier tonight. I have been sleeping SO good out here, just not enough. I will never be able to get used to my apartment again after this. My sister and I went by my place yesterday to pick up a couple of things and it was SO LOUD!! When I turn off the lights to go to sleep out here there is no porch light streaming in the windows, no TV or hacking downstairs, no road noise... It's wonderful.

Big Decision. I think in the back of my mind, I've pretty much decided. However, I need to realize that in the rest of my mind. I've been almost forcing myself not to think about it because I REALLY hate the idea of moving again. I don't like the idea of deciding what to put in storage and what to keep out. I don't like the idea of asking my friends to help me move again because I know they're getting tired of it. Ok, it's time to do this:

  • Packing everything I own (when I just unpacked my very last box a month ago) and moving for the 6th time in 2 1/2 years.
  • No longer living alone. (Oh, how I love living alone...)
  • Feeling like I might have a lot less time for Steve and Jordan.
  • Having to tame my social life a little bit and becoming a little more of a homebody. (This could actually be considered a Pro as well.)
  • Worrying about Jordan not adapting well to the situation.
  • Living with a dog again (I just may train that soft, furry guy).
  • The whole thing being somewhat temporary (and not knowing exactly how temporary).
  • The end being terribly sad.


  • Gaining a new friend through Dorothy.
  • Being there for her to help her however she needs and to ease her mind about who's going to cook for her, etc.
  • Living in a great place rent-free, with a stipend.
  • Living in a quiet neighborhood.
  • Having this be a learning experience for Jordan (in a lot of ways).
  • Blessing someone beyond what I probably realize.
  • The spiritual impact that several people have said they think this would have on me.
  • Expanding my cooking skills.
  • Growing in numerous ways.

I think I'm gonna do it.

Oh gosh, yikes! This means I actually have to think about the moving part...

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