Friday, November 9, 2007

Parenting

I do not have any biological children but, in my heart, I have a son. I know a lot of very good parents. I know a few mediocre parents. But I have never met parents as bad as this. Good God.

*Clarification

I do not agree with the first situation - the mother who wanted to call the police on the pregnant woman who disciplined her son for running in the street. I would probably have the same reaction.

I also don't think that parents should never discipline their kids in public. Every child would be a spoiled brat if that were the case! I don't frown on parents who are stern with their kids in public, or even who spank their kids in public. That is their own way of parenting and I have nothing against that. Everyone is different.

The part about this story (and the reason I posted it) was because of the family in the store. I'm not sure how I feel about the women calling the police on them (the father was slapping the child - that's different than spanking) but I know EXACTLY how I feel about what the mother said. That is unacceptable under any circumstance, EVER.

7 comments:

Luvah said...

I hear ya.

Carrie said...

At the same time I find it disturbing that there are people out there that think they have the right to see a snapshot in time and made a determination that the law needs to be called in on people and could change their lives forever.

There are two sides.

#1 - Absolutely. That is a HORRIBLE thing to say to a child and no parent would thoughtfully do that. Ever. In a million years. Under ANY known circumstances. I cannot imagine it worth anything.

#2 - Let's not think ourselves so lofty that we get too crazy with the police. That's dangerous in and of itself. That's what makes for undisciplined children because you never know who, in the public, is goingto see something that they personally think is outrageous and call you in on it. It makes for VERY difficult parenting as-is.

MOSt parents aren't going to say things like that. But since her friend was threatening to call in the other mother who was (rather correctly) disciplining her son for running into the street when she was calling him back to her -- come on now. You are making me leary.

Carrie said...

The clarification makes more sense. Because as she related -- she knew that what the parents said was not against the law BUT THAT the police officer, who also knew that to be true, went off in search of them anyway. Which is incredibly disturbing.

I realize the point of her story was to share the horror of the unloving parents but there's a hidden horror in people's reactions to what they think is right or wrong and when they choose to be their own version of the police.

But I think we agree with each other.

Anonymous said...

I don't find it "incredibly disturbing" for the officer to have gone and checked on the parents. Perhaps he was checking on the fact that they had slapped the child which, in certain cases, IS against the law.

Carrie said...

Well I think annon makes my point very well, actually. You just never know who is going to report anything anymore. It's come to the point where if one person thinks that something is improper -they are going to be out to book the closest person to them who offends. I'm saying its a scary situation where anyone can report anything at all and cops are going to investigate on things that aren't necessarily against the law.

Again, not saying that the parents were in the right but I AM saying you can really mess up people's lives when you "fetch the law" on them without a really good and CERTAIN reason.

It's the annoymous callers that are the most frightening.

Lani said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Lani said...

Keep in mind, some people don't have a choice. Mark is a "mandatory reporter". If he sees (or hears) something of that nature he HAS to report it. If something comes of it and someone finds out Mark saw it, heard it and ignored it, Mark will be prosecuted and could, quite possibly, lose his job and the chance to ever teach again. Sometimes the police have to be called to investigate, but that doesn't always mean something will come of that investigation. Does Mark LIKE being a mandatory reporter? Not particularly. But that doesn't mean he takes it lightly.

Now, that said, I also understand some people take things to the extreme and call if you raise your voice. Yes, I have spanked my son in public and received the occasional dirty look. However, I also use spanking sparingly and have found other ways to discipline my children in public because of the dirty looks I've received.